Bed Buddies
A few years ago I went to the company fancy dress Christmas party in London. I got sick on the way there and had to take a Claritin after we landed. I ran around the city all afternoon before the party and realized I hadn’t eaten since the middle of the night before on the plane. I had no idea this would turn out to be a horrible mistake.
I must say partying with the Brits is the best. They love to drink and know how to have a good time. We arrived at the party and immediately got to drinking. I had one glass of champagne and quickly moved on to glass number two, followed soon after by an endless supply of red and white wine with dinner. I never saw the bottom of either glass.
We went back to the hotel at 2:30 AM after clubbing with one of the Brits in tow where we drank ourselves silly in Jessica’s room. The next thing I knew it was morning and bottles were everywhere. “How did I end up in frat house?” I wondered. Then I realized I was not in a frat house… I was passed out cold in Jessica’s bed. And she was right next to me.
I said without thinking, “Oh no, I didn’t make it back to my room?” I didn’t expect a response but Jessica said sheepishly, “No, you fell asleep and we couldn’t wake you up.”
That was my cue to leave. I went back to my room mortified. On the way I noticed I had hot pink dye on my cheek and collar bone from someone’s feather boa that I had passed out wearing. Finally in my room, I noticed something was different. Someone had slept in the other bed. Then I noticed the towels in the bathroom were everywhere. I wondered where Goldilocks was and then I went back to sleep in my own bed.
A little while later, I tried to scrub the dye off my cheek with no success when I realized it could be disguised with blush. I took some smartly packed Advil and made my way into the office extremely late, hung-over and without a voice.
Once there, I tracked down Jane, the Brit who took us to the club. “Um, what happened last night?” I asked a few times until she understood my squeaking. The look on her face told me I wasn’t getting the whole story. At least not from her.
“Well, we went to a club after the party was over. I’m surprised they didn’t kick us out. Some of the guys picked up Jessica and were holding her up over their heads. We were pretty wild,” said Jane. Either she didn’t remember anything else or she wasn’t telling me the rest.
Once I found Jessica I got some more information. I made out with an Indian guy at the club and the guys had raided everyone’s mini bars once we got back to the hotel. Turns out the guy I was sitting a few computers away from had slept in my room when he finally remembered my room number at 6:30 AM and they couldn’t wake me. I thought maybe my mini bar was safe since they didn’t know my room number but I found out they went through it once the mystery of my room number was solved.
I still don’t know all the events of the evening but most of the company knows I slept in my female colleagues bed. Now that is what I call a successful company Christmas party.
- as told to Crackout Blackout
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