Peanut Shell Passout.
Walking to a bar for a happy hour around 6pm usually doesn’t involve anything of note but this day was different. The bar was in
sight but that didn’t stop someone from shouting at me and my friend Isabel. “Hey! HEY!” In typical New Yorker fashion, we didn’t realize he was shouting at us until he was literally in step with us. “Hey! Can I walk with youz gurls?” His words were slurred and we could practically see the booze emanating from his breath. Nothing we could have said would have stopped him so we decided not to say anything at all.
“I just broke up with my girlfriend…she lives in Brooklyn. I just want to…I just wanted to say hi and say…I just want to hang out with strangers, y’know?” We just kept walking, the bar was in sight. “I just want to hang with strangers and people I don’t know…and just have….fun with them.”
It was completely obvious was he was getting at but he wasn’t taking the hint as we kept walking, our eyes cast downards. “Youz girls going to a baaaaar? Can I join you?” We were at the bar so it would have awkward to come up with an escape plan. We headed into the bar and met up with a group of friends, the boozed up dude trailing behind us awkwardly. He immediately went to the bar and ordered another drink.
Isabel and I were getting progressively drunk with the rest of our friends and had forgotten all about the wasted guy after about 30 minutes. We look over to the bar and saw that he was still there. Except…he was passed out drunk with his face in a pile of peanut shells.
~submitted by Drunken Debbie
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