7 Days of Drunk
I found this amazing week long diary of an unemployed banker who is living it up sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll style yesterday on New York Magazine’s website. This Drunken Debbie is our first Wasted of the Week. You can’t make this stuff up. Here are some highlights:
Day One- Since getting laid off (okay it’s been six months now), life has been a cycle of drinking, boys, hangover, and Seamless.
Day Two- 1PM: Wake up and remember nothing about the night. I think I brought someone home though not really sure because he’s not there in the morning. I almost want to ask my doorman if I came home alone last night, but I make the executive decision not to.
1 AM: We all head to Marquee, where I catch the eye of a handsome boy in an Hermès tie and immediately start eye-BJ-ing him. He is a 28-year-old M.D. who graduated from Yale. He buys me SoCo-lime shots and I tell him that 28 years old is too young to be an M.D. He responds that he’s just that good. His friends back him up. (They go back to his place and hook up)
Day Three- 8 AM: He freaks out and asks me to leave. I angrily storm out and the doorman asks me if I was with the twins last night. I say their little brother and he laughs. When I get home, I look him up on Facebook and see that he graduated HIGH SCHOOL in 2009. He is 17 YEARS OLD and it was his parents’ penthouse in the city.
Day Four- 1 AM: Run into an ex-hookup who introduces me to his two best friends. I realize that I have hooked up with both of his friends at previous times and that I met them all at the same bar months ago. We awkwardly explain that we all know each other. How did NYC become like college??
Day Five: 3 AM.: Drunk and horny, I send a mass text to all of my hookups asking what they are doing tonight. An old Morgan intern friend turned hookup responds and we plan to meet at his.
Day Seven: 8 AM: Do the walk of shame home from the Boat Basin and kind of over it all. Remember that I actually used to be smart and care about other things in my life. Make a mental note to read the newspaper today and perhaps even try to find a job.
You can read the diary in it’s entirety here.
Via nymag.com
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