How to Properly Sext.
The art of sexting is a crafty one. It takes finesse. It takes skill. It also takes a bit of luck and some foresight. Luckily the boys over at an awesome site called F My Liver have come up with these surefire ways to sext a girl when you’re about to crackout and blackout. Just be sure to place your bid before you go all unconscious.
Calling a girl this late at night comes off as too obvious and can quickly backfire. She’s going to ask you all those annoying questions like, ‘Why didn’t you call me earlier if you wanted to see me?’. And she’s going to be able to hear just how fucked up you are when you’re hiccupping and your friends are calling you a homo in the background. If you’re still at the bar, you’re not going to be able to hear each other anyway. Reverting to a text is the best solution here as you can save some face if she doesn’t respond. But you need to make sure that you spur interest. You’re not the only one trying to score, so you need to stick out from the crowd. The “Wat r u up 2?” isn’t going to cut it this late at night. Let me also recommend that you text a few girls earlier in the evening. Simply asking what they are doing that night will show that you were thinking about them sober. This will improve your chances of meeting should you happen to drunk text them. So without further ado, here are my top 5 sexts to send to girls when you’re blasted. These are in no particular order:
“Hey, could you grab milk on the way back?”
You’re probably wondering what the hell this has to do with hooking up. Stay with me. Once you text this to a girl, she’s going to send back, ‘What?’ Then you can reply, “Sorry, that was meant for someone else. What are you doing tonight?” This method gets you the response first, before you ask what she’s doing. This makes it harder for her to ignore you since she’s already responded once. Now you have to figure out a proper invite to get her to hang out.
“[Insert girly movie], wine, my place?”
It’s a proven fact that girls love romantic comedies and that girls love wine. And now you’re bringing them both together. This is the next step up from the college move: “Want to do shots upstairs in my room?” This text will mostly work with girls whose friends just went home with their husbands/boyfriends/one-night-stands. She’s going to feel a bit lonely once she realizes that her friends will be in someone’s arms while she sleeps alone at home. By adding a romantic comedy and wine, you put yourself above the echelon of guys that are just asking her to come over and blow them like Pearl Harbor. She’ll just think that you’re a sweet guy who wants someone to spend the night with. That is, until she gets to your place…but then it will already be ‘game over’.
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